Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize