Are we in a gay sports bar?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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