Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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