if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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