"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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