Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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