I'm jealous of your bromance
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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