So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize