im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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