i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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