It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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