I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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