glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize