Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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