Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
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he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
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Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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