6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
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Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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