i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All I want is dick and wine.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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