i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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