I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The Olympian is in my bed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize