well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize