So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
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