Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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