she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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