Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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