then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize