He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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