i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize