i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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