Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
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I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have post one night stand depression
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