Your face is a jimmy john
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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