When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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