Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
did i just pee glitter
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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