thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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