i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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