halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm too high and old for this...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize