It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize