there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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