i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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