Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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