someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize