make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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