Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize