I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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