The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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