i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
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I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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