woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
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I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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