ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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did i walk over a car last night?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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