my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im holly from the hills drunk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
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Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
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i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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