his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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