Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
look no pants
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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